04/11/17 AFRAID THIS PROBLEM RINGS A LOT OF BELLS

04/11/17 AFRAID THIS PROBLEM RINGS A LOT OF BELLS

If you are not where you want to be with a parent, then why not take self denying steps to make it better? I would guess that maybe they have done a fair amount of trying to renew, revitalize, restore broken lines with you. Maybe they have tried several time and got the message that you are old enough to run your own life and don't need their, "OLD SCHOOL" and "WORN OUT IDEAS."

Maybe with each attempt they made, you pushed them further away, and they figure that one more word will not only get them the cold shoulder, but maybe the boot also. Maybe the things they told you years ago, which seemed ridiculous at that time, are beginning to make a little sense now. And maybe the haughty and snotty rejection you gave them, instead of a "thank you," communicated your scorn for their old fashioned ways, and they just didn't want to repeat that sad scenario, again and again.

Well, anyway, they are getting old and you won't have to put up with their nosey meddling and foolish ideas much longer. So, why not do something that might make them feel good, and maybe give you a pleasant memory in the future. It is too late to make up for all the lost time that they wanted to hold you, hug you, see your smile, hear your laugh, share your burdens, give you their support, be a vital part of your family. But it is amazing how parental love will take hold of the smattering of good that is finally offered, and turn loose of the years of the other stuff that has been building.

I know that the problems between you and your parents are not your fault, and I am sure that you will never have any problems with your children. So why not have a little mercy on your poor confused and dysfunctional parents. After all, isn't that what strong, successful people do? Remember, they were not really trying to ruin you completely with all their strange ideas and their selfish affection and advice.

By the way, maybe you could reach out to siblings also, but reach out as if you were the one in need of a loving and helping hand.

Through the years I have watched life around me, and on Facebook, and one of the things that is evident is that our modern world has contributed to, and suffered greatly because of the breakdown of family relationships. Family units no longer stay together, as in previous generations. Children no longer have the same loyalties or affections for parents that they once had (and parents no longer want or accept their role as provider, example and authority in their children's lives).

Lots of things have led to, and fed this breakdown. Rejection of traditional family relationships and respect, cultural pressure to be independent and "free." However, following Biblical directives to families, to believers would solve these problems. God commands us to honor our mother and father. This is not optional, but obligatory.

My heart breaks when I see loving parents and grandparents disrespected, neglected, abandoned, after spending a considerable portion of their lives denying themselves for the well being of their children. The affection and the responsibility does not seem to be there, as it was when I was a child. I lived in a society that honored parents, grandparents. It was not a perfect society and there were some people who did not care for their aging parents, but that was the exception rather than the rule.

As I read the words of people who long for a restoration of relationship with their children, my heart breaks. Their children have "their own lives and friends and pursuits." Actually, I don't see the parents asking their children to give up their own lives, but they simply would like to be included, in a reasonable and respectful way.

Aging comes with a number of problems, real problems, hurtful problems, but losing closeness to the people they have loved the longest and the deepest should never be a problem that old folks encounter.